My Struggle With Panic Attacks

For a long time, I have struggled with something that has felt impossible to explain unless you have suffered from them yourself—panic attacks.

While they have gotten better over the last two years, I had one a few nights ago as I was driving on my way to my hockey game. Maybe it was the stress I’ve been feeling from my upcoming exam schedule and needing to pass them. Maybe it was the fact that, while I still see my friends often, we’re starting to grow up and drift apart. Or maybe it was me really questioning if I’m pursuing a degree in the right field.

It could be all types of things, is what I am saying.

Over the years, I think I have gotten better at controlling them and knowing how to calm myself down, but with my first few, they were scary.

I had no idea what was going on at first. Was it stress? A health problem? I truly didn't know and felt alone since I thought no one around me could relate to what I was going through.

I eventually discovered, though, that I wasn't alone. I didn't understand how common panic attacks are, and discussing them out in the open has been a crucial part of I treat mine.

So, why am I writing this at 12:30 AM? I don't know, I just think it can help people.

I understand how challenging it can be to talk openly about mental health, particularly online. Most of the stuff we see on the internet is stories of success, and not our short-comings. While everyone wants to show off how far they've come and how well they are doing, I think it's equally important to discuss the difficulties that have shaped who we are.

If you're experiencing panic attacks or any other mental health issue, I want you to know that it's okay to prioritize your well-being, feel vulnerable, and seek to help. You're not the first, and you won't be the last.

On a personal note, I want to express appreciation to everyone who has helped me along the journey. Without you all, I would still be stuck in that same frame of mind not wanting to leave my house like I was 18 months ago.

Okay, time to get back to studying for these English and Accounting finals.